“If another believer [Greek – If your brother] sins, rebuke that person; then if there is repentance, forgive. Even if that person wrongs you seven times a day and each time turns again and asks forgiveness, you must forgive.” – Luke 17:4

In Matthew 18: 21, Peter asked Jesus a very legitimate and honest question: “Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?” 

Jesus replied, “No, not seven times, but seventy times seven!”

And as I read this, a serious and pressing question popped into my mind, one that almost everyone has asked themselves in their lifetime:

How do you forgive someone who isn’t sorry?

Well, according to what Jesus says in Luke 17:4 and also in Matthew 18:17, the simple answer is:  “You don’t.”  

I know that sounds harsh, so allow me to explain:

When God laid out His law with Moses, He gave the Israelites very clear commandments. There was no debate as to whether stealing or lying was a sin.

So if a person violated one of God’s commands, they had to repent and offer a sacrifice in order to be restored to good standing with Him. 

In biblical terms, forgiveness is tied to repentance and indicates that a person has been restored back to right standing. 

Acknowledgment from the offender and an intention to change the sinful behavior is required in order for true forgiveness to take place.

So if one of my friends were to steal clothes out of my closet, and then never admit that their actions were wrong or apologize, they’re not allowing me to restore them back to the state they were in before they committed the dirty deed. 

The fact that the act has not been forgiven doesn’t mean I have to treat the person with contempt or hatred. 

But I can release myself from being in a close relationship with that person.

However, if they come to me and bring back what they stole and apologize, I have to forgive them, or else I will be in the wrong. 

If they turn around and steal from me seven more times and repent each time, I’m required to forgive each and every time. 

But if forgiveness just isn’t possible in the biblical sense, it’s ok to lovingly let go of someone as we continue to pray for them.

Be blessed,

Alexia 

Prayer: God, help me to understand more and more what it means to forgive. If I should ever have trouble forgiving someone who has asked me for forgiveness, please cleanse my heart and help me to restore that person the way you would restore me when I repent. If someone sins against me and does not acknowledge their deed, please help me to pray for them and continue to treat them with grace and kindness. In Jesus’ Name, I pray, Amen.