People who are at ease mock those in trouble. They give a push to people who are stumbling. But robbers are left in peace, and those who provoke God live in safety – though God keeps them in his power. – Job 12: 5-6

When I was hospitalized for a mental breakdown at age 22, I felt like my life was damaged beyond repair.

I suffered a panic attack so severe and uncontrollable that I literally thought my heart would explode in my chest and I would die.

The heat flashing through my body gave me the sensation that I was burning alive, and my mind ran amuck with thoughts of disaster.

A sense of impending doom gripped me so tightly that I was afraid to be left alone, and the world seemed to melt around me.

The trauma I endured was so severe that I completely lost control of my body and mind. And I needed medical attention.

As I sat in the hospital’s mental ward, broken down, confused, terrified, ashamed, humiliated, unable to rest with high blood pressure and an aching body, there was an enormous weight that crushed my spirit even further:

Witnessing others thrive, who seemed to have no intention of being good-spirited.

I saw people prosper who laughed at and gossiped about me after I suffered a severe mental breakdown.

I never claimed to be a blameless person, but I knew I wasn’t malicious. I honestly did my best to be good.

So the destruction in my life compared to the bounty of blessings raining down on others was truly painful. I didn’t comprehend it, and it felt like a knife slicing through my soul.

But what I didn’t understand was that God was planting me deep, so that I could emerge strong, vibrant, and full of empathy to help others.

His purpose for me involved great pain and humiliation, but the pain served an important role in my spiritual development.

God blesses all of His children in His time, so focusing on the lives of others is of no consequence.

Resist the urge to put yourself through the pain of comparison, and look to God.

Be Blessed,

Alexia